Cannon's rumble, bodies tumble, exploding stars steal the night.
The heavens clap, the battle's snap, sinking deep the wounded fall,
The lightning's spark, the thunder's hawk, drinking in the warring pall.
Soldiers crawl, the ranks sprawl, beneath the wall of death,
Eyes clenched tight, in teeth-bared fight, bequeathed their final breath.
I have been watching some Gettysburg specials on the History Channel, and this sooo goes along with the battle scenes that took place there. Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I've actually been working on a Civil War piece and I guess it spilled over into the Short Story Slam, lol :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing I love using imagery of a storm to describe war, its a perfect metaphor
ReplyDelete"The lightning's spark, the thunder's hawk, drinking in the warring pall."
ReplyDeleteLoved this line. Great use of consonance.
Vivid work.
@mindlovemisery-- Thanks! Thunder gets so loud sometimes, it often sounds like a war going on in the sky... couldn't resist the metaphor :-)
ReplyDelete@Bryce-- Thanks for stopping by! Loved your "Kansas Epiphany" entry--- I lived my entire life in tornado alley, but never had one get that close!
very brilliant take.
ReplyDeletepowerful take.
well done.
Very powerful imagery. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThere's a strong connection between the elements of war and the elements of a terrible storm - you captured it perfectly , especially the accompanying sights and sounds !
ReplyDelete@ Jingle, Andy & Mish--- Thanks! You guys are too kind :-)
ReplyDeletestorm at war... makes me thankful for our soliders
ReplyDeleteSlick presentation with vivid images, I enjoyed the piece very much
ReplyDeleteExcellent!! I like this a lot. So vivid, real, and horribly true.
ReplyDelete@marit-- I am thankful also, but I do wish there was no need for soldiers...
ReplyDelete@abthomas-- thanks, I'm glad you like it!
@Charles-- thanks, but, you're right--- I wish war wasn't so "horribly true" :-/
Reminds me of WW1, those terrible months in Flanders with perpetual storms and rain turning an already horrible war into an unimaginable hell. A very emotional yet succinct piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteIt really is hard to imagine what something like that would have been like. I hate everything about war. I know they are necessary, but it just seems like a tragic waste of life on all sides.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Li.
All the wind and howling fury,
ReplyDeleteAs the storm increases its pace,
Bombs exploding, shrapnel landing,
Within the bunker I hide my face,
With war or storm I know what's coming,
Everything gone without a trace.
Your poem is vivid and filled with emotion. Excellent write.
Thanks, dan!
ReplyDeleteNice job! Great imagery. :)
ReplyDelete