Who does the abyss gaze back at when you’ve gazed so long into it that you’ve fallen in…..

Sometimes, life can make you feel like the king of the world. And, sometimes, life can make you feel like the bottom turtle in the indeterminable stack of terrapins that hold up the universe.

Lately, it feels as if there is this infinite, gaping chasm spread out in front of me—one I can’t see the end of, one I can’t see the bottom of, one that terrifies me more than my limited vocabulary could express. I don’t know what I’ve done to put myself at the precipice. More importantly, I don’t know how to escape from said precipice.

Were it as easy as turning back the way I came, I would have run backward, blindly even, without hesitation. But, the path behind me is steadily eroding away. Soon, there will be no backward path, only the abyss.

Melodramatic much?

Seriously, though, I don’t know which karma fairy I stepped on, or which curse I’ve stumbled into, but I think I’ve had my fair share of bad days and troubled times--- perhaps more than my fair share. Those who know me, know I’m not one to complain. If anything, I’m probably guilty of not complaining enough—

But, lately???

If these were events I had a personal hand in bringing about, it would be one thing. I would be less likely to lament the current state of things. I’m very much a believer that if you got yourself into a mess, then you get yourself out and you have no one to blame but yourself.

But, when the responsibility of taking care of the mess of others is thrust into your lap, dropped on your head or yoked to your shoulders—when you never asked for the privilege of dealing with it—it is another matter entirely.

I guess I've lost some of my perspective. I'm pretty sure if so many things weren't going at one time, I'd be better equipped to deal...but, the adage, it never rains but it pours, doesn't even begin to describe the amount of Niagara that's pissing down in my back yard....

I fear I am coming to the end of my endurance. What that means, exactly, I’m not sure. But, I do know that the point of maximum capacity is within sight---well, within “feeling” actually. I find that I move through a progression of emotions—if past precedent holds true—from a point of heightened anxiety to conscious disconnect to numbness to shutdown. I can feel myself, currently, teetering at the edge of disconnect (where I’m not processing anything that is being said to me or thrown at me) about to plummet headlong into numbness.

If I reach the stage of shutdown, it won’t be pretty….

Tell me, where does the Wailing Wall turn when it needs to scream?

L is for Loch Ness Monster....

With Kelpie, for my 'K' entry, still fresh, I thought it'd be fun to stick to the water for a bit. So, while we're in the realm of Celtic water creatures, why not visit with the most famous and widely known of aquatic beasties---- the Loch Ness Monster. Though, Nessie, sort of skirts the line of supernatural creature as it is purported by many to be a cryptid, a creature whose existence has yet to be identified by the scientific community. Those who believe Nessie an unidentified animal, have speculated that it is from the line of Plesiosaurs, while the scientific community claims it's just a modern-day myth, or at the very worst--- a hoax. I've included the Loch Ness Monster as part of my Supernatural theme because, like Bigfoot, there's an, albeit EXTREMELY, remote chance that it's real, but, like ghosts, I won't believe it until I see it myself----- I'm a card-carrying skeptic, but, I can enjoy a smidgen of the illogical now-and-again-...

K is for Kelpie.....

Today's entry is dedicated to my wonderful social club pledge sister, who sent me off from our college sanctuary with a copy of "Scottish Folk and Fairy Tales", containing an inscription that the "magic and mischief of the Kelpie follow me".... She knew I had an affinity for water and for mischief...and for all-things Celtic--so the Kelpie seemed to suit---- though, I'm not quite as savage as many folktales paint Kelpies. Kelpies are Celtic water horses, believed to haunt the lochs and rivers of Scotland and Ireland. The Kelpie was known to appear as a "lost pony", though, its identity is given away by its constantly dripping mane. Most stories give the color of the Kelpie's coat as black, though there are a few that mention the color white. The texture of the Kelpie's skin is likened to the smoothness of a seal, but its temperature is "cold as death to the touch." Like many other tales of supernatural creatures, the Kelpie...

A to Z reflections....

Another A to Z challenge comes to an end--- another collection of posts and poetry have been written, another deep breath of relief is released. For my fellow bloggers that survived as well, it's another 'challenge-completed' notch carved into the writing desk. I've come to enjoy my yearly foray into the world of all things alphabetical. This was my third year, though it was only the second year I had a workable theme (which made the challenge substantially easier than the first year I attempted this challenge.) And, though my first year was difficult because my focus was so scattered, I found this year was more difficult because I lost the enthusiasm that came with the first year excitement----excitement which helped me plug along until the end of the challenge. Year 3 was a success in the sense that I completed the challenge, though, this was the year that almost wasn't---- Somewhere about a third of the way through the challenge, I seriously considered...

From the Inkwell, From the Vein.....

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