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Sometimes it's less about Mind-Over-Matter and more about Insanity-Over-Mind ...

So, my second attempt at NaNoWriMo ended with me squeaking out a win at the eleventh second of the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour. In fact, I cut it so close that I was sure the word count validator was going to shut off for the year 2008, declaring me a failure for the year.

My final day of NaNoWriMo was my most frenzied writing escapade of my life thus far. After a full day's work at my day job--- in retail, mind you, during the holiday season---I came home ready to finish my 50,000 words and ready to be declared a winner. But, then the full reality of the task before me sunk in. I got home at 6pm and realized I was only at 40,000 words. I had until 11:59:59pm to write a full 10,000 words or face a year of personal defeat and humiliation. I was determined not to fail...especially after my pathetic attempt at Script Frenzy in April, but I don't want to mention that episode again.

Well, I did the only thing that I knew how to do...I wrote my ass off. The adrenaline started pumping the minute the screen materialized on my computer. I had just 6 hours to do the impossible. I knew there was no way the words I spewed would ever be gold, but I had to spew them--- suddenly it was all about the word count---quality would come with editing.

My fingers cramped and my neck ached, but still I pushed on. The words were flowing, molten hot from my overworked finger tips and cramping knuckles. But, I would succeed, no doubt about that. I began averaging about 1,000 words every half hour or so and this feat was only obtained by me consciously shutting off my mind and letting my hands take over. My hands became a direct conduit to my sub-conscious. The story poured through my veins and flew from my fingers without any conscious awareness. I had no idea what I was writing, the story had taken full control of my body and all I could do was sit back and let the insanity ensue.

And boy, did the insanity ensue. At exactly 11:57pm I submitted a manuscript that according to my Word program was 50,065 words, only to find the NaNoWriMo word count validator had the manuscript at 49, 965 words!!!! Suddenly I panicked. There was no way I had gotten this close just to have victory snatched away from me because of a mere 35 words!!!! So, I pulled my manuscript back up and added two very conscious and obviously very awkward last sentences to pull the word count back up over 50,000 words. My fingers were shaking from exhaustion and anxiety. My whole body was trembling with the fear that I may have lost everything just at the finish-line. With only seconds to spare (and I'm not even sure how many, I was too scared to look), I squeaked my resubmitted manuscript into the validator and eked out a 50,035-word VICTORY!!!!!! My body instantly dissolved, the rush of relief, the awareness of my cramped digits that were now swelling as well as stiffening, the realization of my obstacle-ridden win, everything rolled through me at once and I did the only thing that I could do ... I wept.

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